This post, Left Outside, will be the first of what may turn into many posts about Parents Acting Poorly. I saved many scenario’s that friends related to me, situations I’ve read about and some are from personal knowledge. What I’m hoping to achieve here is an audience opinion of proper parental etiquette. A dump blog is not what this is intended for. I understand situations can be very upsetting for a parent, but this is not the place for blowing off steam. This is for learning from our mistakes, and learning who’s mistake, ethically, it was. Kind of a self-healing thing. Discover who was probably, ethically at fault, and if that turns out to be you, learn and grow from that. If you were right, try not to gloat too much.
I will present my posts as non-gender specific, for the parents, not the children, as possible. If you choose to present a scenario I appreciate it if you do the same, write non-gender specific. I understand we may not be able to do so in some cases, but I will do my best, and you can too. By not specifying a gender I believe my reading audience will provide un-biased answers. IE: I don’t want to encourage woman to assume the woman is right, and men assuming the man is right, irregardless of the content. I’m interested to see what we can come up with un-biased!
Here’s the scenario (chosen at random):
Parent #1 has done the 1 1/2 hr drive to see their child, 16 yr old boy, about once a month, for the past two years. This was self assigned duty in an effort to not have to have contact with the other parent. A,”Just get it done” mind-set had been adopted. No arguing, no anger about it, it was just done.
Parent #2 does not come visit the child in parent #1’s house, 12 yr old girl. (There are two children, one at each home). Parent #2 has not seen, nor spoke to, the 12 yr old child in three years. A card with money is sent on birthdays.
Parent #1 made a midweek trip to see the 16 yr old child on his birthday. Making the drive there and back totaling 3+ hours of driving that evening. When the parent dropped the 16 yr old off at home, the 12 yr old ran in to use the bathroom.
The 16 yr old stands and talks with parent #1 waiting for 12 yr old. After a while 16 yr old says just a minute I’m going to see what happened with her. He immediately comes back out and relates, “They want to sing happy birthday to me since 12 yr old is here and parent #2 never gets to see her.” “I’d invite you in but I don’t think that would be comfortable.” Parent #1 says “Okay, I guess” and 16 yr old went back into the house leaving parent #1 sitting in the car for twenty minutes.
Now do you see anything wrong with this? Do you think that parent #2 should have asked the 12 yr old to stay and sing and have cake and leave parent #1 waiting in the car? Is it okay for parent #1 to feel hurt about the long drive to see the 16 yr old on his birthday and be left in the car? Was parent #2 acting considerate? Was parent #1 acting self-centered?